Anonymized quotes II

[dorchadas]

Her: "Is this confirmation that you are a vampire?"
Me: "I confirm only that my amazing hair and dashing good looks were accurately portrayed."
Her: "So that's a yes."

...

Me *sits down to take off my shoes*
Her: "Look at this fucking Pantene Pro V commercial."

...

Her: "You did a Youtube search for 'Sad Music'?"

...

Me: "Meat time."
Her: "I don't like meat time."

...

Me: "Are we talking about Jewish law again?"
Him: "Well, my interest is piqued!"

...

Him: "Get in here!"
Her: "Why? What's happening?"
Him: "It's time to watch the horse die."

...

Her: "Can we say the laundry room is off limits?"
Me: "Well, that ruins my hiding place of crouching up on the washing machine like a fucking gargoyle."

...

Me: "My train ran express so I stopped off for frozen custard."
Her: "Perfect weather for it. Weirdo."

...

Him: "...leverage our friendship."
Her: "Like, market it?"

...

Him: "The 'prefunction' was when members of Greek societies would get together before another event to prepare for it."
Her (room): "Drinking."
Him: "Yeah. They'd abbreviate it, too. 'Prefunc.' "
Her (room): "Everyone's doing that! 'Insta' for Instagram."
Me: "Well, 'prefunc' rhymes with 'drunk,' so..."
Her (phone): "Am I in the right meeting?!"