Anonymized Quotes VII

[dorchadas]

sashagee is playing Final Fantasy XIV on the couch next to me, but I'm at work. So here are some quotes:

*walking past a woman sitting on a bench, wearing a plaid skirt, black coat, and combat boots, with long black hair*

Her: "She should be your girlfriend."
Me: "I’m not going to hit on someone in a cemetery."

...

Her: "I want green-skinned space babes tho"
Him: "I saw them last year, but they were leaked and the DOD would neither confirm or deny their veracity"
Her: "Or blue skin like in mass effect"
Him: "They actually confirmed them, which is huge"
[...]
Me: "Read this later, it sounded like he was saying that the DoD confirmed green-skinned space babes. And I was like, finally, some fucking good news in the Plague Year."

...

Me: "That's why I still say '-nai desu' instad of '-masen.' I did that for three years in Hiroshima, I don't think I'll ever stop doing it."
Her: "Yeah, I mean, that does fit--it makes sense. Though, by that logic, shouldn't you use all the rules for Hiroshima-ben?"
Me: "I could do that, but I think it'd drive you insane."
Her: "Wow. Yeah, I don't think I could handle that."

...

Her: "They’re super tall, which is annoying."
Me: "Excuse me?"

...

Him: "Bunny in the alley."
Me: 🎶 "Way, hey, bunny in the alley." 🎶

...

Her: "Those are nice jeans. But they don’t have pockets? Full size ones?"
Me: "They do. The nice thing about being a man is that you can have skin-tight pants that still have full-sized pockets."

...

Her: "What sub-sub-sub-subreddit was that in?"

...

Her: "Have I been getting less and less attractive since you've known me? I am feeling a general decline."
Me: "This question feels like a minefield but--no, you’re still hot."

...

Her: "MATCHA SIMPLE SYRUP"
Me: "Didn't you say you could make it‽"
Her: "Yes but I don't want to 🙃"

...

Her: "Do you like me?"
Me: "Of course. I wouldn't want you hang out with you so much if I didn't." *pause* "Oh, I see. No, I’m not just looking for a hookup."
Her: *laughs* "Men are trash."

...

Her: "Do you only like me because I’m like Kirby?"

...

Me: "I have religious rituals on Friday night so I have an easy go-to structure. Make a dinner, light the candles, sometimes watch a livestream of services"
Me: "Sometimes watch anime, just like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob definitely did 😅"
Her: "The original weebs"
Me: "Jacob’s dream of the ladder was an isekai"

...

Me: "My girlfriend works with the public so if anything kills me it’ll be her."
Him: "Mine takes risks so...same."
Me: "RIP us, brother, we die with honor."

...

Her: "I think middle-schoolers are clinically terrible."