"All of it, at the bottom of the sea"
2020-Jul-22, Wednesday 17:56The cicadas are out, the trees are screaming. Summer has arrived.
Slowly working my way through Chrono Trigger. I've played it over a dozen times, so I know it like the back of my hand, but playing it in Japanese means that it's a new experience. I have to stop and work through what people are saying, and I make sure to take to every townsperson because for the first time in twenty years, it's a new experience for me. Chrono Trigger is one of the games I really wish I could go through and play with fresh eyes, and while that's not possible, this comes close. There are old quotes that have new meanings in the original language that really can't be translated without a lot of difficulty. My favorite example in what I've played so far is talking to Spekkio, the Master of War, when he described the Kingdom of Zeal with the words:
"Gone is the magical kingdom of Zeal, and all the dreams and ambitions of its people."
This morning was a department meeting that I was told I'd have to speak briefly for, on the adjustment process for working from home, and I mentioned the biggest challenge for me had been ergonomics. My home is designed for a floor-based lifestyle, to the point that I'll sometimes just sit on the floor with my back against the couch if I'm watching something, and I have my mouse arm and mouse propped up on some pillows as I sit on the couch with my laptop on my lap (despite the name, this is actually inadvisable). When I said that, I got messages from two senior managers offering to get me a lap desk. My setup now works for me, but I certainly won't complain about a lap desk.
( Farmer's Market Dinner )
At meditation tonight, the new rabbi brought up Tisha B'Av, occurring next week, and the weird liminal space we're all in now. One of the people brought up how strange it is to mourn the destruction of Jerusalem when it's the current capital of Israel, and the rabbi mentioned how when she was a chaplain, one of her patients with dementia barely spoke at all except the occasional seemingly-nonsensical statement or fragment of memory, but once the rabbi started actually listening and engaging with her, she started talking more and more, eventually revealing some coherent memories of her past, and the rabbi tied it in to how it's important to acknowledge and remember the past even if your current circumstances are very different now. As someone whose current circumstances are very different than in the past, well.
I can understand that. And this year isn't going to be anything like last year's Tisha B'Av event was. But this year, I feel that it's a lot easier to mourn.
It's okay to be sad.
Slowly working my way through Chrono Trigger. I've played it over a dozen times, so I know it like the back of my hand, but playing it in Japanese means that it's a new experience. I have to stop and work through what people are saying, and I make sure to take to every townsperson because for the first time in twenty years, it's a new experience for me. Chrono Trigger is one of the games I really wish I could go through and play with fresh eyes, and while that's not possible, this comes close. There are old quotes that have new meanings in the original language that really can't be translated without a lot of difficulty. My favorite example in what I've played so far is talking to Spekkio, the Master of War, when he described the Kingdom of Zeal with the words:
おめーらの生まれるずっと昔……魔法でさかえた王国、あった。その世界、みんな魔法使った。けどその王国、魔力におぼれほろびた……。それから人は魔法を使えなくなった。魔族以外はな。The word I translated as "grew proud and [...] ruin" is おぼれほろびた, from two verbs. The second is 滅びる (horobiru, "To be destroyed, to come to ruin, to fall"), but the first is interesting. It's 溺れる (oboreru), which can mean both "to grow proud, to indulge in, to go wild over" or also..."to drown, to sink beneath the waves."
"Long before you were born, there was a kingdom that flourished through sorcery. There, everyone could use magic. But that kingdom grew proud and magic was its ruin... Since then, no one has been able to use magic. Except the Fiends, anyway."
"Gone is the magical kingdom of Zeal, and all the dreams and ambitions of its people."
This morning was a department meeting that I was told I'd have to speak briefly for, on the adjustment process for working from home, and I mentioned the biggest challenge for me had been ergonomics. My home is designed for a floor-based lifestyle, to the point that I'll sometimes just sit on the floor with my back against the couch if I'm watching something, and I have my mouse arm and mouse propped up on some pillows as I sit on the couch with my laptop on my lap (despite the name, this is actually inadvisable). When I said that, I got messages from two senior managers offering to get me a lap desk. My setup now works for me, but I certainly won't complain about a lap desk.

( Farmer's Market Dinner )
At meditation tonight, the new rabbi brought up Tisha B'Av, occurring next week, and the weird liminal space we're all in now. One of the people brought up how strange it is to mourn the destruction of Jerusalem when it's the current capital of Israel, and the rabbi mentioned how when she was a chaplain, one of her patients with dementia barely spoke at all except the occasional seemingly-nonsensical statement or fragment of memory, but once the rabbi started actually listening and engaging with her, she started talking more and more, eventually revealing some coherent memories of her past, and the rabbi tied it in to how it's important to acknowledge and remember the past even if your current circumstances are very different now. As someone whose current circumstances are very different than in the past, well.

It's okay to be sad.