Like a hand bursting out from a grave at the end of the movie

[dorchadas]

I checked my transactions yesterday as I usually do and I noticed something suspicious, and it didn't take me long to realize that schoolpsychnerd had used my credit card to send money to the guy she cheated on me with.

I have no idea how she did it. It was a PayPal transaction, and she didn't even have PayPal until after we separated, since by mutual consent I handled all of our finances. She's not an authorized user on my credit card anymore and it's been over a year since I had her removed, and what's more, I looked back through my past PayPal transactions on my card and this is the first time this has ever happened. She has never paid by PayPal using this card before, until last Tuesday. That...doesn't seem like an accident, much like how the last time she called me was the day I went on my first date after I divorced her.

Well, I called my cardholder and reported the transaction as fraud. I changed my password (I'd already done that after we separated, but best to be cautious), and they're going to send me a new card with a new number, so this will be the last time this happens. They're going to refund me the money, I assume, and if they somehow claim that she made a valid transaction, then I'll just add it to the hundreds of dollars she promised my parents that she would pay back and never did. Liars lie. And probably close my account with them even though I've been a customer for fifteen years. If they can't provide any security, I don't see why I should stick with them.

I don't usually make snacks at night, but after finding that I decided to. All of my comfort food came to me late in life, and this is one that I always used to get as my last order in an izakaya before we paid up and left for the night:

Just like my mother has never once made in her life.

It's called お茶漬け ochazuke, and traditionally it's a way to use up old rice by pouring tea over it. Nowadays it's a meal itself and you can get it with all kinds of toppings. I made some rice, took a packet of pre-made toppings that I had in the closet, put it on top, added some pickled plum, and then ate it. It was delicious.

Next time, maybe I'll make everything homemade. I have some furikake (rice topping), so I can use that. I'll add wakame seaweed, pickled plum, shiozake (salted salmon), and use actual green tea and soy sauce instead of the dashi mix from the premade stuff. I could even just make it for a meal, honestly. There's no reason that it has to be a late-night snack.

And now, back to playing card games online with my friends.

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

Oh that's a horrible thing to happen.

[omnipotent]

She has some nerve. Do you think it may have been an honest mistake? But then, if it was a honest mistake, she would’ve called or emailed or found SOME way to inform you the instant that it happened.

Also, that’s insulting IMO. You are meticulous about your money. She should’ve known that since she used to be your spouse. Did she think that you just suddenly ceased to be fiscally responsible?

Fingers crossed that your money is refunded.

I hope your comfort food brought you a bit of comfort.

[dorchadas]

It's possible that it's a mistake and she didn't even notice (there's a reason I handled all of our finances...), or that she did notice and got so embarrassed and mortified that she can't even reach out to me. That still doesn't explain why she has my payment information saved in her PayPal, a year and a half after I divorced her, or why this has never happened before...

Thank you--the ochazuke was delicious. I'm tempted to start making a bit of extra rice some days, just so I have leftovers to use to make it.

[0xtanuki]

That's confusing, because I thought in order to add a card to a Paypal account, they would charge $1.95 and then refund it. You could go over your transaction history with that card's account, and find when it was linked to a Paypal.

https://www.paypal.com/us/smarthelp/article/how-do-i-link-and-confirm-my-credit-or-debit-card-faq1565

[dorchadas]

I checked when I discovered it, and just to be sure I went back after I read this and checked my card's records, my PayPal account records, and my personal budgeting software and there is no transaction on there I did not personally authorize myself...until last week. And the payment she made isn't on my PayPal account, so she didn't somehow get my password.

So, back to not knowing how this happened.

[helvetica]

I'm confident they will be able to reimburse you, as the cardholder the odds are always in your favour (I work in card processing!). That is such a manipulative move!! But I'm confident you'll be able to resolve it without ever having to interact with her.

Your comfort food looks so delicious :) :)

[dorchadas]

The next time I hear about her, I want to be when a friend sends me her obituary, to be honest.

It was wonderful! I need to keep some extra rice around to make more. I usually only make as much rice as I need, but in a larger household, I'd probably make a couple cups and just have rice for the whole day like my Japanese tutor does.

[omnipotent]

The next time I hear about her, I want to be when a friend sends me her obituary, to be honest.

Boy, do I know them feels.