First interaction with a conservative dad

[dorchadas]

And I could have done without it, to be honest.

So fortunately my father is a lifelong Democrat who once deliberately drove to Washington so he could sit in on a day of the Nixon hearings, but sashagee's father isn't. Her stepmother usually shuts down any discussion of politics, but the most recent time we went to visit them he was very interested in talking about them. He's currently without a job--he used to be a master carpenter, but decades of doing that has taken its told on his body, and he was doing ride-share but not not anymore--so he's been watching a lot of YouTube and you can probably see where this is going.

The first time he said anything objectionable, sashagee's stepmother shut down him pretty quickly. Last time, while sashagee was getting a haircut, he started spouting some of the usual conservative bullshit that I'm sure I don't need to repeat because if you're American, you've already heard it. I pushed back on what I was confident about:

• The reason only a tiny portion of the recent COVID-19 bill was dedicated to coronavirus relief is because it was an omnibus appropriations bill.
  
• Cops are not even in the top ten most dangerous jobs in America. The two most dangerous jobs are lumberjack and ocean fisherman.
  
• A private company banning people, however worrying it is, is not violating free speech, and as a member of a minority religion I'm not really interest in an intellectual debate between "All Jews should die" and "I want to live."
  
• The one person of color and one gay kid in his school in the 70s might not agree that they were treated the same as everyone else and no one cared about their differences from the majority.

There was other stuff but misinformation doesn't need to be spread.

sashagee is worried about him--she says he's turning into someone she doesn't recognize. On the plus side, apparently he's willing to accept pushback and doesn't get angry about it...yet. And he's not a QAnon cultist or a Proud Boy or something similar. But the algorithm on YouTube is pretty much tailor-made to produce neo-nazi terrorists, so I'm not sure that I should be celebrating yet. I'm also not sure what to do--I've only met him a few times, and if sashagee thinks there's reason for concern...

I'll have to see what happens but I'm a bit pessimistic about it.

Comments

[omnipotent]

I can certainly see why you would be pessimistic about it. It doesn't sound like you have to decide immediately on what to do--it definitely sounds like y'all are still feeling one another out, and it seems like one of those "correct course as you go" type deals. The fact that he's still open to pushback is hopeful (somewhat), so....cautious optimism to slight pessimism seems best.

He's not an anti-Semite, is he? That's a whole other world of problems.

The assumption that the one minority they know = representative of ALL minorities is really irksome with conservatives, especially older conservatives. It's always convenient that the minority they know is the Boomer equivalent of Milo Yiannopoulos or Clarence Thomas.

[dorchadas]

Fortunately, no--I would have come down on that like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately, he keeps mentioning how Dennis Prager is Jewish. And I'm worried about the trajectory he's on, since if you dig into a conspiracy theory there's pretty much always antisemitism underneath...

Yeah, he specifically mentioned Candace Owens as someone he follows. Sigh.

[angelofthenorth]

Commiserations. Maybe get him onto the young Turks or recommend alternative watching?

[dorchadas]

I guess one major problem is that I don't consume any liberal media so I don't actually have anything I could recommend. I don't listen to any political podcasts or anything.

[helvetica]

WOW! I hate to be pessimistic as well but this is so EXACTLY what happened with my father. He has been a painter his whole life, got injured on the job, had to take a few months off work where he went really deep in conspiracy alt/right youtube and now I don't even know who he is anymore. It's scary too because at one point, he watched that documentary "The Social Dilemma" and it basically shows how once you get onto a topic, all of the algorithms will bring you deeper into that topic. He told me about it and realized that the way he ingested media was concerning. He actually had this realization!!! But then like a week later he was back on his bullshit and I was like, "what about that documentary" and he told me it was a load of shit!

I have no advice. I also don't know what to do. I try to listen to him, acknowledge parts of what he's saying, and make him realize when he's making stupid circuitous conclusions but we always just end up back at conspiracy stage 1. You'd think it would be easier because we're Canadian but it's not! I haven't talked to him since the storm on the Capitol and I don't think I want to talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll say it was some left wing scheme.

Anyway, sorry for the load of text! I just want to say I sympathize and I really hope that her dad is different. Especially with a baby coming into the world!!

[dorchadas]

That's even worse--that he found something explaining what was happening but the comfort in having his worldview affirmed was too comforting for him to break out of.

I've heard that Canada's right wing is trying the same script that worked so well in the US--anti-multiculturalism, anti-immigrant racebaiting, bathroom bills, etc., but I don't have a good sense of how well it's working. Just that it's worrisome.

I hope we can both find a solution!

[earthspirits]

Unfortunately, sounds like he's been radicalized. Folks like him watch Fox News and NewsMax and believe all the lies - especially The Big Lie that Trump "won" but that the election was "stolen" from him.

Glad you pushed back at him. It's worth a try to attempt to educate him and bring him back to reality.

[dorchadas]

Yeah...he didn't mention a stolen election but he did toss off "Antifa and BLM leaders in the insurrection" which is just

I'll do what I can, but I only see him when we go to visit him (and I think this was only the fourth time I've seen him). Especially with a daughter on the way, I'm not going to sit quietly and listen to conspiracy theory bullshit.